What to do when your parents are wrong.
As young adults, we are not supposed to rebuke those who are older than us. Parents, teachers, bosses, etc. But sometimes, we’re dead sure that they’re wrong. So what do we do, then?
1 Timothy 5: 1 - “Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren;”
This verse plainly shows us what to do. We should NEVER rebuke them. Arguing, yelling at them, manipulating to get our way, talking behind their back - these aren’t Christian attributes! Going to someone who is much older than us and telling them point blank that they’re wrong is, well, wrong. And two wrongs don’t make a right, right?
Instead of rebuking them, we should “intreat him as a father.” What does this mean? “Intreat” means to “treat him like a father” or “ask him about it like he is your father.” How do we do that? With respect, of course. Love, too. A few other things may help:
1. Realize that they probably aren’t wrong. We’ve all had times when we were so sure we were right, then some detail we didn’t know about popped up and proved us wrong. Chances are, the person who is much older and more experienced will see things we just haven’t seen yet. We ARE right based on the info we have, but there’s more info we can’t see just yet that our elders can. A young person that realizes and admits this is mature indeed, and is also showing humility.
If number 1 simply CAN’T apply, then…
2. Start praying about it.
Ask God if there’s something either side is missing, and ask him to show either side. This isn’t a “God, show them they’re wrong!” prayer. It is humbly admitting to God that you need his help. Then trust him. He will take care of it.
3. If you have done step 1 and 2, and absolutely must talk to them about it, remember humility.
When you’re older and make a mistake, you’ll be glad that someone half your age didn’t throw it back in your face. You’ll want them to come to you humbly and suggest that you reconsider. Heck, we even like it when people treat us that way now.
